Wash Rejoins Rangers Rivals
Former Texas Rangers’ manager Ron Washington has resurfaced with his old team, signing with the Oakland A’s as an instructor. He coached there for 11 years, during which the team rose to prominence and became a darling of the advanced metrics set. Wash was never much for the metrics, but he was popular with the players, and he was known for improving their defense. The Athletics have been averaging almost an error per game this season and weren’t much better last year, so he’ll have work to do.
Guns n’ Toadies
The parties involved appear to have deleted their posts, but Toadies frontman Vaden Todd Lewis kicked a hornet’s nest on Facebook when he posted some thoughts on the Waco shooting, saying “Anybody notice the lack of comments … from the open carry nuts?” The post got several hundred likes, but one fan who wasn’t amused was Jonathan Weiss, a Marine Corps veteran, who said, “Texas may not be the best state for you … I think California would be a better fit.” No word on why the posts were taken down, though it wouldn’t surprise us if some vindictive lefties abused the Marine (who did choose his words pretty badly). Any way, now Toadies fans can go back to the band’s music and open-carry guys can go back to freaking out about African-Americans doing the same stuff they’re doing.
You’ve Been Headhunted
More proof that all the good jobs have gone overseas: The Saudi Arabian government is looking for beheaders online. Apparently, they’re having trouble finding people to chop the heads off murderers, drug dealers, carjackers, homosexuals, and people who pass out Bibles. (All those are capital crimes in the kingdom.) Let’s face it, if you’re a beheader, there’s not much work for you here in America. Your main alternative is ISIS, which sucks as an organization. The Saudi royal family sucks, too, but at least you’ll have a steady paycheck, regular electricity, and a much lower chance of being taken out by a U.S. drone. No experience required, which makes me think some decapitations are gonna take a few whacks to get right.
And Finally…
Here’s a cat getting the ugliest and most adorable ice-cream headache ever.
