Last week, I began what is apparently turning into a multi-part series about drinking establishments in Everman. Why Everman, you ask? It’s just sort of turned out that way. Over the past year, as my going-out nights have been taken over by more and more things to do (those Netflix suggestions aren’t going to watch themselves), I’ve found myself getting beers in the day. Or morning, as the case may be. And in trying to find actual bars that are open before lunch that aren’t Hooters, Chili’s, or located in an alley behind a Fiesta, I found two in Everman. Lucky me, right?
I visited The Happy Armadillo on Everman Parkway last week (“Happy Armadillo: Parents Welcome,” April 8) a few hours after its 11 a.m. opening time, finding it to be a cheerful dive bar that will hopefully remain the same for another 40 years, assuming that human beings still drink bottled domestics for lunch in 2055. If I had had the time, I would’ve stopped by the Gold Putter Lounge, another a.m.-opening dive about a block west, next to a creepy, dilapidated building housing Texas Denture Services, a.k.a. a possible destination should you dare someone to spend the night in a creepy, semi-abandoned building in Everman.
Maybe it’s the neighborhood, because from the outside, the Gold Putter looks almost as forlorn as its next-door neighbor. The Putter’s peeling sky-blue paint gives the place a peculiarly maritime look, reminding me of this crappy strip club between Robstown and Corpus Christi. When I drove past the Putter last week on my way home from the Armadillo, the lone pickup in the parking lot didn’t make me feel any better about going inside. If seen on a TV show, you would have expected a scenario in which a secondary character ends up way over his head, at least until the protagonists (Simon & Simon) show up to bail him out.
Adding to the ominous mystery of its weathered exterior, the Putter also opens at 8:30 a.m. I got there around noon, however, which is a pretty typical time for oddly employed sometimes-drunks. When my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, I was almost disappointed that there were no obvious shakedowns, murder plots, or other TV-trope skullduggery going on. Beyond the scuffed whorls of a vestibule wall covered in faux walnut wood paneling, I saw a nice, clean, divey carpet bar. Instead of dangerous characters seething in East Coast accents and leather jackets, there were old men talking about potentially eating an entire Boomstick at a Rangers game.
What I really dug about this place was the way its space gave the illusion of having other rooms. To the left of the wall separating the front door from the rest of the bar, you’re led into a big alcove that is home to an electronic dartboard and in a corner some serving tables pressed against the walls. The bar, which looked to seat between 15 and 25, dominates about a third of the room, but it looks much larger because of the back-bar mirror. Behind the back-bar wall, there is what appears to be a kitchen, or at least shelves of food, though from the ambient conversation, whatever culinary gems the Gold Putter used to offer are no longer available. In their places now are Slim Jims and packages of peanut-butter crackers.
Darts seem to be a big deal here. Though I saw only one other electronic machine, the upper facade of the bar that joins the ceiling is lined with dart league plaques. There are also pool and shuffleboard.
On the wall near an ancient cigarette machine was a white board giving the room number at Huguley Memorial Medical Center for a regular who had broken her leg, indicating to me that the patrons who putt around at the Putter are probably a tight-knit bunch. And with a fun little watering hole like this, who could blame ’em? I might have been a first-time visitor, but I felt like I’d been getting beers there for years. Or maybe that’s because the Putter is some kind of delightful time warp. Whatever the case, the Gold Putter Lounge is a great excuse to get off I-35 for a beer. Don’t let the outside scare you away. –– Steve Steward
Contact Last Call at lastcall@fwweekly.com.
[box_info]Gold Putter Lounge
1625 Everman Pkwy, Everman. 817-551-6234.[/box_info]
