GWAR Coffee

It’s not uncommon for bands these days to include food items in their merch line or lend their name to a beer brand. Iron Maiden’s Trooper Ale can be found almost everywhere now. Local and regional bands have gotten in on the trend, too. Ghoultown’s Lyle Blackburn even has a hot sauce you can buy at Born Late Records (2920 Race St, Fort Worth, 817-984-1255). The Toadies have their Dark Secret collaboration with Dallas’ Full City Rooster,[cq] and bags of the dark roast are available at TheToadies.com.

However, none of these guys have quite the backstory of the latest coffee to launch locally: GWAR’s Berserker Mode Coffee, roasted by Coterie Coffee Co. and brought to you by Concept Cafes. The shock-rocking GWAR were warriors in the Scumdogs of the Universe, an elite fighting force in the army of the Master of All Reality, so, of course, they have a tall coffee tale to tell:

Prepare your taste buds for battle — GWAR has teamed up with Concept Cafes and Coterie Coffee Co. to bring you a brew as brutal as their music and stage show: BERSERKER MODE COFFEE! Roasted high on a pyre of smoldering destruction, Berserker Mode is a bold, bodacious java, savagely sticky with muddy molassesness and foul-fruited candy sweetness — a real teeth-grinder of a roast. Not your average morning pick-me-up, this is coffee forged in legend, powered by Blothar the Berserker’s grievous wrath, and brewed for only the mightiest of warriors.

According to ancient lore, Blothar the Berserker — frontman of the greatest shock rock band in the history of the universe, GWAR — once roamed the icy seas in a Viking longship. Lost and alone, he was lured by a green, split-tailed mermaid, her siren song calling him to the Indonesian archipelago. But his love was unrequited, and in his sorrow, Blothar wept like a 1,000-pound baby. From his bitter tears, coffee plants sprouted across the land of Java. Thus, Berserker Mode Coffee was born — a heady and powerful drink crafted to fuel his rage before the battle. Historians may claim Viking berserkers were jacked up on psychedelics, but GWAR knows the truth: It was coffee that drove them to insane battle-lust!

Blothar the Berserker says, “The best part of getting blackout drunk is Berserker Mode Coffee. Each sip is infused with the bitter sorrow of unrequited love and that nagging feeling that something really weird happened last night. Berserker Mode Coffee is a savage brew fit for shock-rock royalty. I sure feel like the king on my throne after sucking down a pot.”

Whether preparing for battle, a brutal mosh pit, or just another soul-crushing day at work, this high-octane, savage roast will awaken your inner Berserker.

This caffeinated journey all started with Concept Cafes’ Mike Tonsetic. “The raddest part in the opportunity to collab with GWAR is the fact that not only are they one of the OGs of shock [rock], but they’ve taken it to a whole other level, time and time again.”

The band’s prolific career is something that Tonsetic and his team admire, respect, and strive to achieve themselves, he said.

I’m aware of GWAR because of my good friend Casey Orr. Before he was the bassist behind the full regalia of the Beefcake Almighty character — which has to be a very hot costume to wear, let alone rock in — he was a founding member of local legendary thrash band Rigor Mortis and did a brief stint in WARBEAST alongside the dearly departed Bruce Corbitt, one of his Rigor Mortis bandmates. While Orr no longer lives in North Texas, he visits quite often and was more than happy to answer some questions for me.

Are you a coffee drinker? What’s your favorite way to have it? “I am! I usually drink three to four cups a day. My usual routine is coffee with Stevia and sugar-free French vanilla creamer. If I’m out somewhere, I might order a mocha.”

Does GWAR have any other food items in the merch line? “We’re working on a new beer and a bourbon, but I don’t think we have any other food items in the works right now. We do have GwarBar in Richmond, Virginia. I cannot recommend the food enough. Excellent!”

As a former North Texan, what are some of your favorite restaurants and dishes from our part of the world? “I used to love Dixie House in Lakewood. It’s such a shame it’s gone. I love chicken-fried steak, so All Good Cafe [in Dallas] is great, and, of course, there is so much great Mexican food. The original El Fenix [in Dallas] and Campo Verde [Arlington] — I haven’t been since new ownership took over — are always favorites, but my latest fave is Manny’s Uptown” in Dallas.

While our Dixie House Cafes in Fort Worth and Hurst (DixieHouseCafes.com) are not affiliated with the old Dallas haunt, they do have a great chicken-fried steak. When it comes to El Fenix, I always visit the Dallas location when I hit the Perot Museum, but I go to the Arlington location (4608 S Cooper Rd, 817-557-4309) sometimes, too. As for Campo Verde, that’s a story for another day. What the new owners will be serving there remains to be seen. Next time Casey is in town, at an art show (he’s also a painter), concert, or vendor market, we have some Dallas dining to do.

The Evenings on Oak Street concert series in Roanoke will feature local artists every other Thursday from April through June. Read about it in Crosstown Sounds.