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Metal-head rockstar Glen Danzig shops for a house that has blood pouring from its walls.


A robotic chicken dressed in armor obsesses over false histories of the evolution of his species. A hairy, overweight New Jerseyan answers nature’s call in his front yard in a space-age waterless toilet designed to conserve the world’s most precious resource. These are only a sample of the goings-on in Aqua Teen Hunger Force, the animated series that’s part of Cartoon Network’s late-night “Adult Swim” programming. At 15 minutes long, each episode is the perfect length — not so short as to seem unfinished, not so long as to lose the no doubt incredibly stoned viewer. So here comes Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters, an extended-play version of the series that delivers on the surreal comedy but, at 86 minutes, goes on and on. And on.

In co-creators Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis’ cult series, the title characters essentially make up a walking, talking fast-food value meal: There’s Meatwad, a pile of ground round; Frylock, a flying large order of french fries (also the brains of the operation); and Master Shake, a troublemaking, fruit juice-spewing Styrofoam cup. The three share a rundown house in the Garden State, where they are regularly visited by entities from other dimensions: alcoholic alien frat brothers, an arachnid rap artist named MC Pee Pants, a brainless stripper named Dusty Gazongas — you get the picture. The best “narrative” the film can come up with is an explanation of the characters’ possibly fascinating origins. But like the series, Aqua Teen … for Theaters purposefully loses focus on any plot developments that might make sense. For example, instead of getting into the connection between the Hunger Force and their alleged father, the movie takes one wild turn after another, sending the trio into arbitrary scenarios, such as the one in which the team shares a time machine with Abe Lincoln, totes a pushcart up a mountain in the middle of nowhere, or gives the spotlight over to a talking slice of watermelon flying its own spaceship.

In this YouTube-loving society, it shouldn’t be too hard to get the series’ deeply devoted stoner audience off the couch and into theaters. The only challenge will be keeping ‘em there the whole time. (They’re prone to the munchies, y’know.) The series is a hoot, but feature films require more than just extended gags, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters rambles.

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 Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters
Starring the voices of Dana Snyder, Dave Willis, Carey Means, and Matt Maiellaro. Written and directed by Dave Willis and Matt Maiellaro.
Rated R.

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