As much as so many people associated with MAGA seem to hate acronyms designated for programs designed to actually make America great — or at least better (i.e., DEI, NPR, BLM, etc.) — you’d think they’d have come up with an acronym to signify their own program to stress their values and their goals in response to these difficult issues.
They need their own catchy nomenclature that gets at the bedrock of who they really, indicates what they really stand for, and makes their own compelling, honest case. I can simp-athize.
And I’ve got it.
They should call their program to address their position and philosophy “Discrimination, Inequality, and Exclusion.” It perfectly and eloquently interprets their sincere intentions regarding these problems and encapsulates their political representatives’ policy designs to achieve these goals.
They simply have to swap a couple of the letters in the enemy’s acronym for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) with DIE. Again — and altogether now — Discrimination, Inequality, and Exclusion.
Why fix it if it ain’t broke?
I know, I know. The homos and vatos and journos will start screaming like the stuck pigs they are because they’ll know the silent majority has flipped the script on them again. They’ll be pissing themselves. Our pinko-commie, hippie-fag, bleeding-heart neighbors — err, I meant those hippie-fag, bleeding-heart neighbors (’cause we’re cahootin’ Putin now) — will be whining to their godless heaven. After swapping some letters, we can sit back and scoff at their knee-jerk humanity.
“Save the Whales” is suddenly Save the Wails (coming from entitled white people).
“Save the Rainforests” becomes Save the Vain Flourish (of unfairly put-upon billionaires).
“Coexist” transforms into Roll Sexist (and Bible-mandated white-male fragility — the patriarchal foundation of this entire nation — is rightfully restored).
Turn the libtard lingo on its head, and — bam! — their intolerable impulse toward human decency is DOA. Because your new, bigger, better, winning, and, yes, great social program of Discrimination, Inequality, and Exclusion — DIE — is now the law of the land, and there’s nothing wackademics, the Fleece Corps, or Travesty International can do about it.
It’s stark, raving homogenous!
“Genius,” I mean.
If you’re here illegally because you fled some banana republic that our intelligence community destabilized and made hardly inhabitable (once or repeatedly) — DIE. Go directly to ICE-y hell!
If you’re here already but descended from an ethnic group who were treated like livestock for the first 400 years after their arrival and are struggling with and suffering from (or *wink wink* faking) the effects of generational trauma or our continued active or passive-aggressive acumen for systemic inequality — DIE.
The Middle Passage is the only thing that allowed you to be a part of the diddled middle class in these United States of America to begin with!
If you’re having difficulty accepting or conforming to real Christian sexual mores and you just want to find someone like you who loves you, and you want that love accepted or at least in some way protected — DIE. The Holey Scripture says you’re an abomination, and that makes you a perversion averse to Judeo-heterosexual domination!
If you’re simply a normal human being who wants to enjoy the tenets of the formerly admired American Way or strive toward what were previously known as American ideals, yearning for fairness, justice, hope, and the American Dream or even our national motto — e pluribus unum (diversity, equity, and inclusion by another name) — DIE. No one likes a smarty-pants anyway, and we’re sloganin’ with Rogan, who doesn’t know any Latin and makes millions two-centsing dreamy UFC wannabes that the motto is as blotto as the sentiment!
And if you don’t like our new makeup-caked, pornstar-extorted, flaccid, shit-stain leader of the unfree world — you’re catching on now — DIE.
DIE.
DIE.
DIE.
Fort Worth native E.R. Bills is the author of The 1910 Slocum Massacre: An Act of Genocide in East Texas and Tell-Tale Texas: Investigations in Infamous History.
This column reflects the opinions and fact-gathering of the author(s) and only the author(s) and not the Fort Worth Weekly. To submit a column, please email Editor Anthony Mariani at Anthony@FWWeekly.com. He will gently edit it for clarity and concision.
Jubilee Theatre is home to creativity, learning, and diversity. Read about them in Welcome to the Family.
