I’m a murderer.
My crimes generally affect anything green and leafy in nature, as all plants entrusted to my care wither and die. Mind you, it’s not purposeful. Could these offenses be considered plant-slaughter then? In any case, it genuinely baffles me that I’ve managed to keep a dog with allergies and a sensitive tummy alive for more than six years, but when it comes to even the least-needy vegetation, there are no survivors.
Despite my lethal proclivities, I hazarded a visit to Archie’s Gardenland to enjoy the charming al fresco — or should I say “al flora”? — dining experience at its budding Heirloom Garden Cafe. Disclaimer: No plants were harmed in the writing of this article.
Archie’s Gardenland has been “a growing tradition since 1934” — a pun I vehemently hope was intended. Situated in its outdoor nursery, the soft-opened Heirloom is housed within a forest-green food truck surrounded by bright, sunflower-yellow bistro seating. The stationary kitchen on wheels is parked beneath a simple lean-to structure on a raised, fenced-in deck at the far end of the outdoor garden space, just in front of the greenhouse. It’s only fitting that you have to saunter through rows and rows of verdancy until you reach the matching green garden cafe.
PHOTO BY CHRISTINA BERGER
Heirloom features a limited lunch menu that’s posted on social media every week. Offerings usually include a handheld sandwich, charcuterie-style spread with heirloom tomatoes and housemade mozzarella — “motz,” as it appears on the menu — and dessert. Chef Kevin Martinez of Tokyo Cafe is the man at the elm (er, “helm”), crafting scrumptious fresh fare from seasonally grown produce served on coordinating pine-colored camping-style ware.
So, what’s so special about Heirloom? After sitting behind a computer and dozing off in meetings most of the day, I’ll be the first to say it’s refreshing to take a break from the screens (and internal screams) to be among nature. If you’re worried about suffering in the excessive heat, the place has fans set up — at the very least to help the airflow as you wipe wet strands of hair off your neck.
“It’s you again!”
The charismatic server leaning out the window of the food truck as I approached had recognized me by my latest earring obsession: a pair of dangly mint arches I’d purchased at ArtsGoggle and wear constantly. Blissfully unaware of my criminal history, he luckily hadn’t clocked me and wagged an accusing finger at my photo hanging nearby with the words, “Plant Killer: Banned for Life.” This was my second midday foray in as many weeks to the plant lovers’ haven down Camp Bowie Boulevard.
As I blotted my face, lest my mascara streak and I begin to resemble a raccoon or Alice Cooper, I’ll admit that it might not have been just the summer heat that was getting to me. It’s a little intimidating to sit across from a former Weekly food critic with a 10-year tenure and indulge in a meal that you yourself are now tasked with reviewing. No amount of oscillating fans can relieve that kind of heat — even if you are now colleagues at the same institution who escape the banality of the 8-to-5 grind during the occasional lunch hour together.
(If my employer is reading this, that was a joke. I love work. Work is the best. … Are they gone? OK, whew.)
The longtime food critic had recommended we try out Heirloom — and isn’t that the best way to reap the rewards of the local (or any!) food scene? As much as I brag about my Fort Worth roots, there’s still so much of this city’s dining options I have yet to explore. Best to let the experts take point.
PHOTO BY CHRISTINA BERGER
The most notable course we gorged on during our couple visits to the garden cafe had to have been the signature spread. Sliced heirloom tomatoes and watermelon, both vibrant tones and extra juicy, were paired with toasted sourdough bread for dipping into a dollop of creamy motz and oily, luscious pesto. To top it off, everything was drizzled with a balsamic glaze and sprinkled with pumpkin seeds. Fresh and light, the array was possibly the perfect repast for a sizzling summer day.
The muffuletta with slices of ham, salami, and provolone and a thin spread of olive salad (plus a bright orange dressing I couldn’t identify) was also delicious. I’m a sucker for a nice cold sandwich on a hot day, especially when it’s accompanied by crunchy, salty chips.
On our next jaunt a few weeks later, we tried the Wagyu burger. The main, meaty attraction of Heirloom’s tasty Beeman Ranch Wagyu creation was enhanced with a sundried tomato aioli-slathered brioche bun, crisp lettuce, crunchy red onions, and a slice of American cheese. Honestly, you could probably dip that patty in sauerkraut, and it would still “slap,” as Gen Z says.
In comparison, the roast beef melt presented on a buttery thick toast, covered in melty cheese, and oozing a peppery brown sauce was yummy but played second fiddle. The beef was a bit fatty and gristly, though the melt packed some fairly hearty flavor nonetheless.
As the (in)famous foodie and I returned our emptied plates, the server ribbed, “I see y’all hated it,” emphasizing and elongating the “a” vowel. Let’s just say I can’t wait to “hate” the next dish Heirloom serves up.
Heirloom at Archie’s Gardenland, 6700 Z Boaz Pl, FW. 817-737-6614. 10am-3pm Wed-Sun.
Heirloom at Archie’s Gardenland
Wagyu burger $15
Roast beef melt $12
Muffuletta $14
Heirloom & motz $12
