You’ve seen Bar Rescue, right? If you missed it (the last new episode aired in June of ’14), this Spike reality show was about a blustery bar consultant who would blow into one ailing dive or another, pick apart everything the staff and owners were doing wrong, and then, through the miracle of rebranding and elbow grease, slap some new, mostly themed décor on the walls. Jon Taffer would also retrain the staffers to be faster, more efficient, or less lazy, usually accomplishing these tasks via plenty of yelling. By the end of the episode, the bar would appear to be completely made over, its revamp ostensibly leading to increased traffic and profitability.
As it happens, Taffer’s show had done the reset treatment to a bar up here in 2013, a place on the border of Arlington and Grand Prairie originally called Mary’s Outpost. If you search YouTube for “Bar Rescue Mary’s Outpost,” the first result is a clip. In “Scary Mary’s Is Filthy,” Taffer shames Mary’s staff by wiping the dust off things and holding the grease-crusted cooking grate from the bar’s grill aloft as if it were some kind of awful banner promoting health code violations. Celebrity chef Tiffany Derry even shows up, using what looks like a putty knife to scrape gunk off the kitchen equipment. She even waves around a flatiron she finds near the microwave, horrifying Taffer with the notion that people were doing their hair while they cooked.
I watched some more clips. By the end of the episode, Taffer’s outrage and bellowing manages to retrain the staff and reshape the bar into a model of cleanliness, turning it into a place called Thirsty’s Roadside Bar. I would be lying if the “before” scenes didn’t turn my stomach a little, and in truth, the new digs dramatically improved what would otherwise be another grungy dive on the outskirts of some industrial ’hood. Interestingly enough, the bar has reverted back to its old name. Mary’s contract to do business as “Thirsty’s” was only a year long.
[box_info]Mary’s Outpost
1002 S Great Southwest Pkwy, Grand Prairie. 972-660-6844.[/box_info]
What I found, two years after the remodel, was that even though Mary’s/Thirsty’s reverted back to its original moniker (along with a tall, illuminated “Mary’s Outpost” sign depicting a chesty cowgirl), the bar/restaurant retained the show’s remodel and maintenance standards. Rarely will you see a cleaner dive, let alone a cleaner one after midnight. Mary’s dimly lit main room couldn’t be described as dingy, though it was dark enough that I couldn’t discern the color of the overlapping wood siding on the walls. Halloween decorations trailed from the ceiling, with a big, fake spider climbing up the face of the DJ booth. Karaoke was happening, and I thought it was funny that most of the crooners sat down to sing.
The “roadside bar” theme was vague. The doorless jamb around the entrance to the billiards room is shaped like the profile of a vintage travel trailer, but really the only indications of thematic atmosphere were the retro-fonted Thirsty’s Roadside Bar signage hung on some wide swaths of wall space. I got the idea that the bar’s owners and staff were taking their business’ second chance pretty seriously, but I also got the idea that the regulars might be a little too locals-only, given the stares, whispers, and snickers directed at my friends and me when we bellied up to the bar. At least the bartender was nice, and if you like Lonestar Light for some reason, Mary’s Outpost has it. While I can’t say it’s the best dive I’ve ever dropped into, it’s nice to see it take Taffer’s directives to heart and outlive the dubious merits of appearing on a reality TV show. –– Steve Steward
Follow Steve @bryanburgertime.
