Beef’s Last Show

You’d never know it by looking at him, but Justin “Beef” Williams is very sick.

A carbon dioxide leak at work in September left the 33-year-old frontman of Bomb Atomic with a severe stutter and myriad other physical problems. Tonight (Friday) at Lola’s Saloon, he will perform his last show, on a bill with The Raven Charter, Panic Volcanic, and Manny the Martyr.

Beef became a hot commodity years ago fronting the jazz-rock outfit The Villain Vanguard. He’s known for his booming, smooth voice and charismatic stage presence. He’s been singing since he was a kid. What’s he going to do now without music?

Beef asked to respond via e-mail due to his speech impediment.

EB: Describe the events that led to your decision to stop performing?

JW: Basically, I had an accident … that has left me physically and financially unable to keep going. My doctors say that by continuing to push myself by playing shows, I’m not helping my situation any. I recently was informed that I’m medically unable to keep doing it, so it’s time to stop.

EB: Describe how difficult this decision was for you.

JW: This is one of the most difficult choices I’ve ever had to make. Singing is the one thing that has defined me as a person since I was 8 years old. I started out playing the clarinet, but I was so bad they kicked me out and stuck me in the choir instead. I was kinda good at it, and I never looked back. It breaks my heart in ways that only the people closest to me and other musicians will understand, but I have to give it up for now or maybe never be able to do it again. It’s been my outlet to the world, and through it I’ve met the best people and the worst and the most fun people on Earth. I’ll miss it more than any words can say.

EB: Where do you think you were at in your career before this tragedy?

JW: It’s hard to say, but I feel like I’d been doing some of my best work with Bomb Atomic. I’m getting a little older now, and I feel like I have more understanding of arrangement and melody than in my youth. Plus it’s been a crazy road to get here, and I have more substance in both my life and by consequence in my lyrics. I’m not sure, though, if that’s really for me to say. Bomb Atomic has been developing a fan base, and we’re halfway through our second album, but it won’t be me on the last few cuts.

EB: What did VV and Bomb Atomic mean to you and, in your opinion, this city?

JW: Playing with The Villain Vanguard is what turned me from a singer into a musician. Before I ever got to this town, I was a jazz guy. I played on stage with Peter Erskin, The Brecker Brothers, and I opened for Wayne Shorter and Sonny Rollins, but playing with [VV] –– Justin Barbee, Dino Villanueva, Jeff Dazey, Bryce Harp, Bobby Friezen, Ron Geida, Frank Holligan, and Lucas White –– was like being in a hurricane. They were the single most mind-boggling group of musicians this town has ever seen. We always thought of ourselves as the punk rock of jazz. We played with the best groups of the old days. Never forget Confusatron or Top Secret, Sleeplab, Cultafari, Darth Vato, or Pablo and the Hemphill 7. What we meant to the town, it’s not my place to say, but we did play nine hours straight at Eight-O’s before the Super Bowl in Arlington and never repeated a song. Show me another band that can do that! Plus Ben Roethlisberger sent a bunch of goons to make me stop doing rape jokes in front of 10,000 people. That lasted about four drinks. I played with those guys for eight years almost, and it’s impossible to sum up the adventure that it was. I will say this: A crazier more fearless and loyal group of people has never existed.

Bomb Atomic is and will continue to be, with or without me, one of the last fuck-you bands in Fort Worth. We started off with an idea of what the town was missing, with all the beards and banjos and PBR, and decided someone had to do something about it. Fort Worth always will need a band that doesn’t care about the trends or what’s popular, just someone who will get onstage, give everything they got, and try to get you laid. I will say this: The guys in these bands, they’ve been my best friends, my support, and I don’t think this town would be what it is today without them, regardless of who they are playing with. In the words of the immortal Bernard Wright, “We are just the band. You make the music.”

EB: How will your absence from performing affect your personal life? What did performing mean to you?

JW: What can I say? It was my whole life. I’ve given up everything at one point or another to keep doing it, [including] relationships. I’ve missed weddings and funerals. I quit jobs and left my family behind. It was the thing in this world I loved the most, with one exception. That’s another story, though. When all the demons were on my shoulder screaming at me, it was the one voice loud enough to drive them all away. I don’t know how it will affect my life yet, as I’ve honestly not had the courage to really think past it. It all still feels like a bad dream, but I’ll be back. Beef can’t be killed by conventional weapons.

EB: Tell us about your final show.

JW: I’ve spent so many years doing this, I couldn’t let it go out with a whimper. I’m not that guy. Ask any woman I’ve ever known. I’m a little too dramatic for all that. Plus I owe it to my friends, fans, and bandmates. If we have a show already on the books, I’ll be there.

EB: What do you want to say to you fans?

JW: Thank you to everyone who’s shared this adventure with me. Bethany, good and evil Andy, Little Buddy, Sara, John, Dan, Emily, Christi, D, Brownie, James, Myles Hayes, Tara, Erin, Austin, Bobert, and more people than I could name here. I’ll be putting a link up on the Bomb Atomic and Villain Vanguard facebook pages to my greatest hits CD. All the profits are going to help me pay legal and medical bills. Also if anyone has a disability or medical problem keeping them from working, please contact the Texas Department of Assistive and Rehabilitative Services. They are a state organization that will get you help and job training to get back on your feet. Not many people know about them, but they are kind and helpful beyond measure. Please, please, don’t neglect this resource. Final thoughts: Look good, smell bad. All my love.