The Fatal Encounter (NR) This overstuffed, static historical epic stars Hyun Bin as a real-life 18th-century Korean king surviving the latest in a series of assassination attempts by power-hungry interests who want to stop his efforts to help the poor in his kingdom. Only students of Korean history will be able to keep all the players straight. Director Lee Jae-gyu sets up a ticking-clock plot as he tracks the 20 hours leading up to the attempted regicide, but then he fails to stick with it, getting sidetracked with wearisome flashbacks that go back years in an attempt to explain everyone’s motivation. Crack open a history volume instead. Also with Jung Jae-young, Jo Jung-sook, Cho Jae-hyun, Han Ji-min, Park Sung-woong, and Jung Eun-chae.
Godzilla (PG-13) It barely seems to have a script, but those monsters look good. This American remake features the Japanese monster reappearing after decades of hiding, following two other beasts called MUTOs to the West Coast to restore nature’s balance. The characters are flimsy, the dialogue between the scientists and the U.S. government is so much gibberish, and estimable actors like Bryan Cranston and Ken Watanabe overact to try to make an impression. Still, the MUTOs are powerful enemies, and director Gareth Edwards (Monsters) knows exactly how to stage-manage their appearances as well as Godzilla’s, using indirection and obscured sightlines to delay our full view of them until the moment of maximum impact. These creatures are terrible and splendid in a way that no other recent monster blockbuster has achieved. See this movie on the biggest screen you can find. Also with Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, David Strathairn, Sally Hawkins, Carson Bolde, CJ Adams, Akira Takarada, and Juliette Binoche.
The Grand Budapest Hotel (R) Wes Anderson’s strikes new depths in his latest film that stars Tony Revolori as an orphaned war refugee working as a “lobby boy” in a ritzy Alpine resort hotel for a legendary concierge (Ralph Fiennes). Anderson’s familiar cinematic vocabulary is here, but the current of pathos is brought unusually close to the surface by the pre-World War II setting, which we know will sweep away the hotel and the country that it’s in. The pathos is cut with Anderson’s bathetic and sometimes outrageous humor, and Fiennes gives the finest performance of his career as he plays this Old World romantic with a hard-headed practical streak. Also with Saoirse Ronan, Willem Dafoe, Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton, Tom Wilkinson, Harvey Keitel, Jeff Goldblum, Adrien Brody, Mathieu Amalric, F. Murray Abraham, Léa Seydoux, Bob Balaban, Fisher Stevens, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Owen Wilson, and Jude Law.
Heaven Is for Real (PG) In this adaptation of Todd Burpo’s memoir, Greg Kinnear portrays a Nebraska pastor and volunteer fireman whose 4-year-old son (Connor Corum) has a near-death experience and comes back talking about seeing heaven. Two things are wrong here: First, Corum is a standard-issue cute Hollywood kid without the weird edge that would have made his revelation as unsettling as it should be. Second, director Randall Wallace (We Were Soldiers) brings zero inventiveness or sense of wonder to the boy’s vision of heaven. The resulting movie works fairly well as an account of the day-to-day life of a small-town pastor, but it comes up fatally short as a vision of the afterlife. Also with Kelly Reilly, Thomas Haden Church, Lane Styles, Jacob Vargas, and Margo Martindale.
Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return (PG) Yet another failed attempt at building on L. Frank Baum’s Oz saga, this animated musical stars Lea Michele as Dorothy, who’s whisked back to the land of Oz the day after she gets back to Kansas (though it’s many years later in Oz), where the Wicked Witch of the West’s downtrodden brother (voiced by Martin Short) is causing havoc. The animation has some creative visual touches like a courthouse made of candy (with a waffle ceiling and a floor made of graham crackers), but they can’t make up for the lame script or the eminently forgettable songs. What’s the point of casting Bernadette Peters as Glinda if she’s not going to sing? Additional voices by Dan Aykroyd, Jim Belushi, Kelsey Grammer, Hugh Dancy, Megan Hilty, and Oliver Platt.
The Love Punch (PG-13) Pierce Brosnan and Emma Thompson star in this comedy as a divorced couple who team up to steal their retirement money back from the man who defrauded them. Also with Timothy Spall, Celia Imrie, Tuppence Middleton, and Marisa Berenson.
Million Dollar Arm (PG) Ever hear the one about the benevolent rich white guy who drops into a Third World country and gives some lucky underprivileged people a chance to make it in America? That’s how this Disney sports flick plays out, despite the wealth of talent that went into it. Jon Hamm plays a desperate sports agent who sets up a reality TV show in India to find baseball players to take back to America. Writer Tom McCarthy (Win Win) and director Craig Gillespie (Lars and the Real Girl) are both swallowed up by the Disney house style, and the lack of any insight into the Indian characters only adds to this film’s nauseating air of self-congratulation. Also with Suraj Sharma, Aasif Mandvi, Madhur Mittal, Pitobash, Darshan Jariwala, Lake Bell, Bill Paxton, and Alan Arkin.
Moms’ Night Out (PG) The white people’s version of The Single Moms’ Club. That’s not a compliment, if you’re wondering. Sarah Drew, Patricia Heaton, and Logan White star in this strenuously unfunny comedy about three suburban mothers who leave the children at home with their husbands for a night on the town. Andrew and Jon Erwin’s script is nowhere near as offensive as the one for their anti-abortion drama October Baby, but the material just isn’t here, and the actors either sleepwalk or over-emote to try to make something funny happen. It doesn’t. Also with Sean Astin, Harry Shum Jr., Robert Amaya, Kevin Downes, Alex Kendrick, Lou Ferrigno, and Trace Adkins.
Neighbors (R) Possibly the greatest fraternity comedy ever. Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne play the proud parents of an adorable baby girl who are horrified to find a fraternity moving into the house next door and throwing wild parties. The movie makes hay out of making the parents into young people not far removed from their hard-partying pasts who care about seeming cool to the college boys. The setup fits Rogen nicely, but it’s Byrne who gets the best showcase of her career, and Zac Efron slides so easily into the raunchfest that you’ll forget he ever starred in High School Musical. Comic highlights abound, but watch for the “bros before ho’s” verbal riff, the breast-feeding sequence, and the climactic fistfight between Rogen and Efron, a great piece of physical comedy. Also with Dave Franco, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Ike Barinholtz, Carla Gallo, Jerrod Carmichael, Craig Roberts, Liz Cackowski, Hannibal Buress, Jake Johnson, Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, Adam Devine, and Lisa Kudrow.
The Other Woman (PG-13) Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann enact the cheating husband’s worst nightmare as a mistress and a wife who discover each other’s existence at the same time and conspire to punish the husband (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) who’s cheating on both of them. Diaz is miscast as the buttoned-up, cynical, high-powered businesswoman half of this pair, but she does well with the physical comedy that results from the setup, and Mann gives a compelling performance as a wife who comes unhinged when she finds out what her husband has been up to. The movie crashes and burns in the last 30 minutes or so, but up until that point it’s an agreeable comedy. Also with Kate Upton, Don Johnson, Taylor Kinney, David Thornton, and Nicki Minaj.
Rio 2 (G) I watched this whole thing without once being clear on exactly what was going on or why it needed to go on. Jesse Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway reprise their roles as rare blue macaws who discover the existence of a flock of more of their species living deep in the Brazilian jungle. The parrots’ old nemeses (voiced by Jemaine Clement and Kristin Chenoweth), three parrot chicks, and a bunch of ranchers bent on deforestation all pop up here, as do even more musical numbers. The sloppiness of this loud, overstuffed sequel only underscores the cynicism of this movie designed to cash in on parents whose kids liked the original. Additional voices by Jamie Foxx, Andy Garcia, Leslie Mann, Rodrigo Santoro, Miguel Ferrer, Tracy Morgan, will.i.am, Amandla Stenberg, Bebel Gilberto, Sergio Mendes, Janelle Monáe, Bruno Mars, and Rita Moreno.
Cold in July (NR) Michael C. Hall stars in this thriller as an East Texas man in 1989 who becomes targeted for revenge after he kills an intruder in his house. Also with Don Johnson, Vinessa Shaw, Wyatt Russell, Nick Damici, Kristin Griffith, and Sam Shepard.
Fed Up (PG) Stephanie Soechtig’s documentary exposes the efforts of America’s food industry to defeat anti-obesity campaigns.
For No Good Reason (R) Charlie Paul’s documentary profiles gonzo artist Ralph Steadman. Also with Johnny Depp, Terry Gilliam, Richard E. Grant, Jann Wenner, and Hunter S. Thompson.
The German Doctor (PG-13) Lucía Puenzo directs this thriller about an Argentinian family in 1960 who takes in a mysterious German émigré (Álex Brendemühl), unaware that he is Dr. Josef Mengele. Also with Natalia Oreiro, Diego Peretti, Florencia Bado, Elena Roger, and Guillermo Pfening.
The Immigrant (R) Marion Cotillard stars in this drama by James Gray (Two Lovers, We Own the Night) as a Polish woman who is forced into prostitution in New York in 1921. Also with Joaquin Phoenix, Jeremy Renner, Angela Sarafyan, and Dagmara Dominczyk.
Palo Alto (R) James Franco co-stars in Gia Coppola’s adaptation of his short story about a high-school girl (Emma Roberts) who’s torn between her crush on her soccer coach and her affection for her best friend (Jack Kilmer). Also with Zoe Levin, Nat Wolff, Chris Messina, Talia Shire, Olivia Crocicchia, Claudia Levy, Marshall Bell, Colleen Camp, Janet Jones, Emma Gretzky, Bailey Coppola, and Val Kilmer.
Particle Fever (NR) Mark Levinson’s documentary about the team of physicists who discovered the Higgs boson particle.
I F****** LOVE THE AUTHOR OF THESE REVIEWS
having seen most of these, I can say that reading these reviews was several times more entertaining than most of the movies in the list