Roadkill doesn’t just feed buzzards in New Zealand. It raises money to pay for kids’ education while instilling a creative spirit that only comes from dressing a dead marsupial in a tiny prom dress.
A New Zealand school encourages children to dress up dead possums as part of a fundraising event that raises thousands of dollars.
Why doesn’t the financially struggling Fort Worth Independent School District allow this? Where’s the leadership under school Superintendent Walter Dansby?
The district would rather lay off teachers than let students pick up dead armadillos and dress them in tutus.
Cousin Jeff:
Think you have things too complicated here. Just go out and hunt some feral pigs (Andrew McLemore can serve as your pointer dog), butcher them correctly, then cook the meat over burning portable toilets at the Main Street Art Festival. You’ll sell out the meat, and then you can sue Tim Love for stealing your patented idea (get that done early) when he starts serving his “portable toilet pig burgers” at the Woodshed for something like $12.99 each. Lots of money then to give to the kids.Or maybe the troops. Or to Don Young to help on his moving costs.
Jeff, remember when you came up to PA for the rumspringa. You were out of your mind. Telling all the girls to get crazy and take off their bonnets. Or the joke you told Uncle Yoder: Hear the one about the Amish prostitute? She did ten Mennonite. Then you started doing wheelies in the buggy and shouting “yee-hah weird-beards” while you shotgunned a can of Genesse Cream Ale. The elders seemed perplexed and drove you to the county line.