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ELIZABETH OLSEN WOULD’VE BEEN REALLY SCARED BY THE SECURITY GUARD AT MONDAY NIGHT’S SCREENING.
ELIZABETH OLSEN WOULD’VE BEEN REALLY SCARED BY THE SECURITY GUARD AT MONDAY NIGHT’S SCREENING.

This week’s second “Film” piece is a review of Chris Kentis and Laura Lau’s thriller Silent House, in which rising star Elizabeth Olsen proves she can look terrified for almost ninety minutes and maintain our interest. She’s impressive, but the movie isn’t so much –– it’s a lot of dark rooms, shifting lamp light, and creepy sounds with a questionable payoff.

Much weirder than Silent House was the dark-suited, deep-voiced goon at Monday night’s preview screening in Dallas. As is typical in this era of internet piracy, he waved a hand-held detector over everyone to find possible recording devices before they entered the theater. Then he announced that anyone caught using their cell phones during the movie would be “detained and handed over to the authorities” for possible jail time and fines of up to $250,000. A few minutes later he said it again. We were all really impressed, of course. Who doesn’t stand in awe of security guards who risk their lives working the deadly multiplex cinema beat?

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