It’s springtime, and that means frozen-drink weather. Thoughts of icy, sugar- or salt-rimmed beverages make me, um, well, I can’t really say here, but give me a few minutes, buy me a swirl, and I’ll tell you.
I have long thought of the swirl as the margarita’s promiscuous little sister: not quite as dangerous, but trying. Although I can’t actually find a good recipe for a swirl online, a typical version combines two of my favorite warm-weather drinks: margaritas and sangria. If you’re lucky, the sangria is a frozen mix. If you’re really lucky, the sangria is homemade, with luscious fruit, real wine, and perhaps a “secret ingredient.” Someone say, “Absinthe”? I didn’t think so! (But I like where your head’s at.)
I was reminded of my love for the adorably slutty beverage on a recent trip to Uncle Julio’s patio on the West Side. If you’re in a celebratory mood, nothing beats a swirl served in a frosty beer mug, accompanied by a plastic flamingo on a swizzle stick. Seriously. And Uncle Julio’s swirls are strong. Not clothes-falling-off strong, but one was enough for me. Which was good because, at $7.95 each, one was all I could afford.
A more economical choice: At Gloria’s, a swirl will run you a mere $5 on most weekdays (but on Fridays only until 6 p.m.) The drinks are sturdy enough, and the tequila-to-sangria ratio seems adequate for the price point. Plus, there are several Gloria’s locations in the 817 from which to choose.
At Yucatan Taco Stand on the Near South Side, a post-TCU football game swirl did almost knock me out of my purple shirt once. The manager mentioned something about my drink being made with Castañeda sangria. Oooh, I thought. Fancy! Turns out, according to the label, Castañeda is a little Spanish screw-top “grape wine with natural flavors added” that you can buy at Cost Plus World Market. Really? We have to specify that wine is grape nowadays?! Regardless, Yucatan’s bartenders mix a pleasantly potent version of the swirl.
Rio Mambo serves up something called an Iguana, featuring Mambo’s homemade sangria (brandy dancing with cabernet sauvignon, plus some citrus fruit). Double points given for the homemade hooch and for size options: The Giant Iguana, which easily serves five amateurs and three pros, comes in at $22.95. Sadly, swirls aren’t party of Mambo’s regular happy hours.
But it’s the “secret ingredient” in some swirls that will cause great mirth –– or great headaches or both, depending. I found this out at my favorite hangout El Gabacho, where the swirls are $4.75 on weekdays until 7 p.m. But first: Co-owners David and Ryan Govea have put quite a bit of effort into upgrading their outdoor patio. The spot’s not as fancy as, say, Joe T.’s, but it is lovely and, for me, convenient.
I took some out-of-town company there last month, and, since we hadn’t been drinking together since college, it seemed only right to christen the new patio nearby, enjoy some discounted frozen beverages, and talk awhile.
I suspect that the swirls at El Gabacho have Everclear in them. I believe this because I drank one and my nose went numb. Since Everclear is tasteless and odorless, it’s up to people like me who have super Spidey senses –– don’t laugh –– to keep the world safe, the trains running on time, and sorority sisters from developing bad cases of the post-swirl swirls. I went ahead and had a second one, just to be sure, as did my buddy and his lovely lady. My Everclear suspicions were confirmed about a week later, when she told me that after El Gabacho her man “giggled all the way back to the hotel.” He is a man of good physical size and can hold his liquor. But apparently not his swirl.
–– Laurie Barker James
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